I’ve had a few different thoughts engage my mind over the
last week and thought I’d share them for today’s post. While it may not be
overtly educational like my previous blog posts, there still may be some information
to glean from my brain dump.
This “quest for manliness” I’ve been putting myself through
has made me think about the men in my life that should be role models, but
haven’t been for one reason or other. Mostly family, this group of men would be
my father, grandfather, an uncle or two; all men who should have a great
influence in a young man’s life, but have not been in mine because for some
reason I never looked at them as men to base my life on. I plan to change that
while I still can; we’re not getting any younger.
My father, as I think back on my life, has always been the “kidder”
– quick to answer with a sarcastic comment or joke. As such, I’m not sure I’ve
really gotten to learn all I can from him. I honestly don’t really know what he’s
all about. I know he does his best to provide for his family, both financially
and emotionally, he loves music more than any other person I know, he’s big on
politics, and he’s had a subscription to the New Yorker for nearly as long as I’ve
been alive. I feel like there’s more to him than I’m able to recall. The
knowledge bank I have on my father seems incomplete; like there’s more I should
know.
My mother and father divorced before I could walk, and I can’t
recall seeing him before about age 5 or 6. I got to spend alternating weekends
and every summer break from school with him until I was 17 or 18. After that I
saw him much less frequently, thanks to young-adulthood and thinking I knew
everything. I honestly think that by doing so I missed out on a lot of things I
could have learned from him, and now find myself needing to “play catch-up” as
it were.
I feel the same about my grandfather. He always seems like
he has a lot to say, but doesn’t say it for reasons unknown except to him. I
don’t know much about my grandfather. He’s quiet, very stoic. I know he used to
be a pharmaceutical rep, when I was a small child. We always had some sort of
promotional trinket advertising the latest drugs; a pen, paperweight, once I
had a pedometer that had the logo for some drug company on it. I’ve heard some
of his opinions on politics, religion and “sensitive” subjects, and while I may
not agree with them it’s good to hear opposing beliefs and opinions once in a
while. Of course now he’s sick, though he may be getting better, but it shows
me that I may not have much time to really sit down and talk to him; to learn
his story, his thoughts on life. I plan on visiting him soon, to start
reconnecting with him on a more man-to-man level.
I’m starting to realize that the days of men passing
knowledge down to future generations are on their way out. This is a tradition
that, in my opinion, needs to stick around. Boys grow up to be men, and they
don’t have a chance of knowing what that means unless it is passed down to them
by their fathers. In our generation many boys have missed out on those life
lessons and pieces of advice that only a father can give, due to either the
father not being there enough or just not at all.
If you haven’t already, reconnect with the men in your
family. You might just find a mentor in someone who has been next to you the
whole time.
Until next time,
~J
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